One day planet 1 met up with an old friend, planet 2.
Ah, nice to see you planet 2. How are you doing?
Not so good, said planet 2.
I've got Homo sapiens.
Oh dear! Sorry to hear that, said planet 1.
Don't worry about it.
Doesn't last long!

We produce 48% more carbon emissions than we did in the 1970s but that figure could be halved if we just divide it by two.


This is what we call a #SweatSolution.

The fucking heat... I haven't drank this much water since I nearly drowned as a child

Wouldn’t it be great if air conditioning was something you could download over the internet for the one week a year that we need it?

Its so bloody hot I had to delete my pics were I have been wearing sweaters.

Yesterday in Sydney, hotmail was just called mail

While our wish is for everyone in the locality to enjoy the lovely sunshine, we must again advise that full blown nudity up the town won’t be tolerated. Please enjoy the sun, have fun, but do wear sunscreen and at least some garments. Thanks.

The rise in Global Warming means that in a few years time the whole of Belgium could be under water.
But on the bright side that would leave an extra Champions League place open for Arsenal. Every cloud...

The other day I was driving through town and saw all these scantily clad women with sweat beading down their legs and it got me thinking about climate change and CO2 emissions.
So I traded my car in for a 4x4.

News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change.
But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together.

So an ExxonMobil CEO is going to be Secretary of State?
Does that mean in 2017, America will declare war on...Chevron?

I don't see the problem with global warming. Apparently the Earth will heat up and sea levels will rise.
Great, I've always wanted to live in a warm place by the sea.

I'm still seriously thinking that if everyone in the world each filled one empty 5 litre water bottle up with sea water, and stored the full bottle under the stairs, then it would solve rising sea levels.

I don't have a Carbon Footprint...
Because I drive everywhere.

What do you get when you cross a VW diesel with a dream?
Nocturnal Emissions

My wife left me because of my views on the environment.
I tried saving water by showering with the neighbour's daughter.

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?
Hurricanes with cataracts

Do you know more climate jokes?
We are happy about each mail to

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